Ours to love

Most Africa’s are fighting spiritual battle they know nothing about. In whatever religion you find yourself in this part of the world, it is common knowledge that there is this Uncle, Aunty, Grandmother/father, brother, sister, step mother and the list is endless who doesn’t want us to do well.

The battle ranges from poverty, to failure, to shame, backwardness et al.  Many of those fighting these battles have without fail conquered while many fighting have given up easily. The fact remains at every point we have become angry, sad and dejected. We have often wondered why we have to live cruel life especially when we don’t know why we are faced with such battles.

The feeling of low self-esteem and rejection these ‘spiritual battles’ cost us is the same feeling children born into families who didn’t think about them before bring them to this world feel.

I weep when a child can’t eat a good meal, I weep when children are sleeping in the cold with no cover and nobody to check on them, I weep when children are sick and dying yet nobody to offer medical help, I weep when girls who are menstruating cannot buy sanitary towels, I weep when girls are taken undue advantage of because they have no one to help them…..the list is endless.

It is wrong to go into marriage with no financial plan. It is wrong to be expecting a new born and all through that 9 month no provision was made towards the delivery of the child. It is wrong not to make provision for extra money if in case something goes wrong and there is an emergency (pls don’t give me that crap like nothing can go wrong). It is wrong for you not to make provisions for a new diet the mother would be taking as the new born arrives.

Love is a beautiful thing. The bond of true love no one can break but in marriage, love without financial plans would fail. You all do not be deceived. Health is wealth but should there be a case of visiting the hospital then you would understand that it is better for you not to buy a new clothe than for you to be sick.

Men plan your financial life before and in marriage. Women, do something, work before and in marriage. These things would tell.

I remember when I was expecting my daughter; I had all my money saved up. I was going to school and I was prudent with money. I have done all test that proved I would have a normal delivery but still I saved up for CS. I loved ice cream and meat pie (a craving as a result of my pregnancy) but when my ice cream and meat pie wanted to finish my money I looked for other things to eat. I would eat apples and lot of veggies.

Good food is good, you would appreciate your child when she is comes forth as her skin would be glowing. Why am I saying all these, because having a child is a project, it is a big deal. No woman deserves to die because she is bringing forth a child? No man needs to be put under undue pressure because he is expecting?

If you are planning to get married, it means you are an adult and can think. Please think this through and think again. What kind of parent sleep in the night without crying themselves to sleep when they know their children don’t have food to eat?

So I hear people say marry a poor man, marry a rich man, no don’t marry a poor man who has no vision, oh marry a rich man who would beat you to death, noooo a poor man is poor forever, nooo a rich man would remain rich…..whatever the arguments are please think of your unborn.

If possible carry a paper and pen and map out what you want for your child, the kind of health care you want to give, the kind of food you want them to have, the places you want them to visit, the schools you want them to attend, the books you want them to read, the values you want them to imbibe and so all

I have never seen someone who plans then fails. Yes, things may not go the way we want even after planning and praying but it is hard to miss it. It may be slow, it may not be feasible but a will will make a way.

Never feel you won’t arrive, in fact, you sure will arrive in grand style. I think your faith and prayer should be when my grand style arrive it shouldn’t come late and you should be in good health.

Remember, the reason behind this post is to have children live in a conducive environment and have a happy childhood. What the memories of your childhood you cherish most?