Love is blinding

They say love is blind but I say love is blinding. We are blinded to the obvious because we are in a euphoric state. During my service year I was privileged to be close to a brilliant Corp member. Ambitious and beautiful, blessed with a good heart and usually would make everyone laugh. She was in love with a certain guy. This guy apparently had her around his sleeve and manipulated her in every way.

The said guy is a motor mechanic who barley finished secondary school, was living in a family house and hardly made decisions that concerns them if his family isn’t involved. All these didn’t matter to me because I felt she was old enough in fact older than me and know what she wants. I respected that fact and didn’t pay close attention to her relationship until she started relating her fears to me.

This guy wants her to return to Lagos after service, they would get married, continue living in family house and she becomes a trader. He said he wants her to be selling tomatoes and pepper in front of the house. That he would create a table for her so that she can properly display her goods.  I was furious. I asked her if he really said that to her. She said it has always been his plan back when she was in the university.  She has always been cool with it until she graduated and realized she wanted more out of life than be a petty trader.

I started explaining to her how she was set to destroy her life. I told her there was nothing wrong with marrying the guy if she feels so strongly in love with him but everything was wrong with the fact that the guy doesn’t trust her and calls her a prostitute. Everything was wrong with the fact that the guy doesn’t want her to do masters or gain more knowledge, everything was wrong with the fact that the guy doesn’t like her new friends because she has started to say she wants a washing machine.

I asked her what she would do if she gets a bank job; she said the guy won’t allow her take the job because he feels she would return home late.  So I asked what she really wanted to be and she said she wants to work in a media house.

I began to explain to her that media in my opinion is more tasking than bank job. I had my IT in a media house but I don’t know what it entails in a bank though. I told her she would meet people and her view about life would change. I asked her if the guy can handle it. I told her life the corporate world deserve two matured people who understand it for them to be able to remain husband and wife. I sincerely don’t know how my friend wants to cope with this kind of guy.

It is this love is blind mantra that makes people believe they can be in an abusive relationship.  If not how do you explain a husband beating his wife and the wife keeps saying she loves him. Haaaa, domestic violence should not be condoned on any ground. It starts with issues like this in a relationship and when it graduates to marriage you can’t put the folds together. Signs of a terrible marriage are everywhere. Yes love is a beautiful thing but I beg your pardon, Love isn’t foolish. #LoveisBlinding