This isn't commonsensical

I know there are so many things I do not know, I am aware of the questions I seek answers to but
can’t find, yes! I know I will never understand why foolish people continue to remain foolish but what
I beg for answers are reasons why a woman continues to hang onto a man who physically and
emotionally abuse her.

When I was a little girl, I always say to anyone who cares to listen that if I get married today and my
supposed husband beats me same day, I will file for divorce same day. I may have been a little girl
then but as little as I was I was already informed never to stay in an abusive relationship.

There is this neighbour of ours who had fought with almost all the families in the estate. Every night
was a night of fight with another family, my family had not had an exchange with this particular
family and so a certain night came.

There were shouts and screaming from same family, this time around the brawl was with a very quiet
family. The entire estate was outside to see the free for all but my Dad wouldn’t allow us go out to
watch. Moreover, we were having dinner. My dad called all his kids by their name after we responded
in the affirmative; he picked a dinning knife and asked us what was in his hands.

We all replied in unionism that it was a table knife so he told us that he is sure we would have our turn
with this family and when that day comes we must make sure we fight and must not return to his
house without winning the fight.

He said if we do not fight this family and we return home, he would use the table knife on us. Since
that night I was scared of that family. I was scared because I am tiny and if a fight ensued I was sure I
will be beating blue black. I also did not want my Dad to use the knife on me (he wouldn’t), so i
avoided this family like a plague.

What my dad was trying to let us know is, under no circumstances must we be bullied, he always told
us to air our view and do not pretend to be okay when we are not. This actually informed my thought
and I knew that I couldn’t live with someone who would physically and emotionally abuse me.

I am a Christian and a practicing one yet I do not subscribe to some teachings on marriage. How can
spiritual counsellors  advice that wives should continue to remain in their husband’s house while he
physically and emotionally abuse them, why should wives be encouraged and even bullied to pray to
God to change their husbands from his abusive behaviour.

Of course prayer changes things, yes, God answers prayers but do you think God attends to issues that
are “commonsensical”? Let us not disturb God with the things human mind can put to rest or take
control of. No woman is worth dying for a man when Christ already made the sacrifice.

When a man decides to batter and assault his wife, he should remember the image he creates in the
mind of his kids. To think the woman in question was screaming that for the sake of the children she
had for you, you should stop hitting her is the height of it.

I have said it before and I will say it again, although it brings tears to my eyes but please “GET OUT.”
Your children need you; they need you whole, sound and happy. Do not make yourself the
experience.

I still do not get this hypocrisy, would you advice your daughter to remain in such marriage? Why
dish advice you can’t abide to? Why send young people to early grave all in the name of remaining
husband and wife? Abeg na who domestic violence epp nau??????

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