Life and Love Happens.

I was 18 years when I got admitted into the University. It felt good to be admitted into the university immediately after secondary school because I had worked hard to pass my WEAC and NECO examinations. My parents were happy my name was on the merit list as they told their friends how I worked night and day to be admitted into the university.

I was determined to graduate from the university with good grades as my parents had promised that I will further my academics overseas and I looked forward to that day. Excelling in my academics came with much ease as I had friends with like minds. My friends were not from this world as they were mischievous girls who were too proud to notice they made more enemies than friends. 

I liked the fact that my friends were fine in all sense as they gradually created a niche for themselves. My friends had the best of guys on campus ask them out, but for me relationship was not on my mind as I viewed it as a distraction. That not withstanding, I had always admired tall, dark guys with intelligent prowess. Although my friend’s elder brother possessed all these qualities, he never came to mind because he was more of a big brother and protected us like a mother hen would do to her chicks.

In my second year at the university, I picked a course that had a lot of calculations and had to seek help from my friend’s brother. He was willing to help me understand every sum, from that moment we always spent time together and he paid more attention to me than ever. At this point, he was in his final year at the university. My friend would always ask me if I liked her brother but in my usual response to her, I will say “who wouldn’t love a guy like your brother?” we would laugh over it but then I had fallen head over heels with him.

My friend’s brother invited me for his final year dinner, towards the end of the party he took me out of the hall, we had a long walk and talk where he confessed his love for me and told me he would like to spend the rest of his life with me. It was a defining moment never to be forgotten in my life as I in return told him how I love him and would marry him too.

Two years after that dinner night he proposed to me, we got married. Our home has been all we desired it to be but we were in constant prayers for children. My husband one day returned from work and told me he was taking a second wife. I was heartbroken, even if he had the right to marry more wives I felt betrayed and disappointed. I questioned my existence as a woman and why I had child bearing problem after been married as a virgin.

I pleaded with my husband to give me time that we would have our desired kids but my husband was already preoccupied with marriage preparations with the soon to be bride. I had only one person to turn to – The Almighty. I prayed always that the new bride give my husband the kids he desire and peace should reign in our home.

After the wedding, hubby never came to my room as the new bride took control of the affairs of the home. I decided to return to school to keep my mind occupied from family issues, I also felt returning to school will bring me in contact with new friends while the quest to be the best in class will have me visit the library often too. I started feeling young again as I made new friends, I realised how much I have missed while been at home. Going back to school was the best decision I have made in years.

Two years after my post graduate degree I applied for a doctorate. One night hubby visited my room after several months of neglect, I wanted to walk him out but his voice kept me still. He came to my study table and browsed through my books, then he said “you are still as intelligent as ever, I missed those days of long talk and laugh”. That night was the shortest of all night as we made love like never before. That same night I knew I could never love any other man than him. I remembered my vows to him and I promise to remain all that I said to him that wedding day.

Three years after hubby married his second wife; our home still lacked cries and chuckles of children. Second wife started complaining of how hubby doesn’t come to her room and speak less to her. I wanted to share in her pain as I understood what neglect was but I had to remind myself that second wife’s fury is one no one can quench so I stayed on my lane.

Five months after second wife complained about hubby’s distance from her he announced his wedding to wife number three (wife three). Second wife cried her life out; she became sick and was admitted in the hospital. She promised to commit suicide if wife three was married into the family, she promised to make the home hell for everyone. Husband married wife three and because wife number two (wife two) was always quarrelling with hubby he never visited her room. Wife three was the reigning queen in the king’s palace as she constantly taunt wife two and promised wife two she would give the family an heir after nine months.

Wife three is beauty in every sense. Let me say she is classic as I admire the way she talks and her youthful nature made me hopeful for my hubby. Wife three always talked about kids and new inventions of machines to help make the home easy to clean. Wife three never believed in submission and would always voice her opinion on any issue. Wife three amaze me in to a point of admiration. She is always online and trendy. She would tell me how patient I am and how she can never tolerate nonsense. I will smile and tell her patience is virtue and those who are patient do not eat spoilt food.

Third wife would spend nights in my room whenever hubby travels and we would laugh about everything. Third wife told me she wanted to further her academics but wanted to have her post graduate studies overseas. I told her she could talk to hubby about it and seek his permission. Third wife told me hubby doesn’t have a choice but to send her to school overseas.

After a year and six months of third wife into our home she travelled to the United States for her post graduate studies. Hubby would call her all night and sometimes hubby would come to my room and tell me how he missed third wife. Sometime third wife would scream at hubby for calling often, she would tell hubby he is behaving like a boy and hubby would plead with her to take care of herself. 

Second wife would make gest of hubby and how he is impotent. The first night second wife made that statement hubby slapped her and she vowed to divorce him because she wants to have children of her own. Third wife sent a letter which was delivered by a courier company, it was a divorced letter. Hubby cried that night in my room, I cried with him because our world was tearing apart and I had no solution to it.

I called third wife and asked her what the problem was and she said “Uwargida, you know I love kids and I really want to be a mother, gaskiya I am pregnant for the man I met here and I want to spend the rest of my life with him.” And I screamed “Subhanallah!” 

When second wife got wind of the news she filed for divorce too. She left our home and got married a month after the divorce saga, not up to a year into her new home she put to bed. Third wife gave birth to twins; a boy and a girl. I am in contact with these women who once shared a home with me and they are doing well in every way you can think of.

Today I celebrate my 30th anniversary with my husband. We discovered hubby had fertility problem which could not be medically rectified. Hubby told me to file for divorce if I wanted kids because he won’t be able to fulfil my dreams of being a mother. I was broken, I couldn’t leave my husband. I am bound to him by marriage and our soul is entwined. I love my husband beyond having kids and can never share another bed to any man other than my husband.

We never adopted children but my sisters kids are mine. I love them a lot, my house is always filled with nephews and nieces. This is the path I chose and I have never regretted it. This is my story, this is my life and my husband I love dearly.