TwinkleThrive

Marriage is never a means to an end. Never think your problems will be solved when you get married. The ability to handle your personal issues and effectively solve problems will determine if you are ready to be a partner. Marriage comes with a lot of responsibilities. Do not be pressured into believing that your responsibilities will be lifted when you get married, well, for some people it may work but for most people they never find a head way it just becomes the beginning of new and more responsibilities. Someone said the reason why she wants to get married is because marriage will solve her problem. I asked how? She said as the first child of four siblings and orphan she takes care of her younger ones and the weight is so much that she can’t do anything for herself. She feels if she gets married the man would take care of her and her siblings. In the bid to get married, she is yet to come across a man who loves her for her, rather all her relationships have left her...

Almost two weeks and I could not bring myself to penning my thoughts. I just couldn’t understand what was happening yet I was worried. I know my blog needed stories but I just couldn’t bring myself to writing. I sincerely apologise for not putting up stories for this long. I thought of my followers all through yet I was handicapped. Today I decided to let you know I think of you, you all are in my thought. Even when I try to fix some pressing issues in my life and its proving difficult, I find it hard to forget you. Visiting my blog means so much to me, it makes me know my effort is appreciated. Sometime I don’t know if my target audience are reading, sometime I feel I’m not making much impact, sometimes I feel no one is reading and most times I desire that people read my post and derive the hope they are looking for. All the way I thought of you, I am glad I am back, back again. For you, for me. Together we can do this again and again. Thank you for ...

When I graduated from secondary school, I was sure I would gain admission same year but my JAMB score was low. I scored 164 if I can remember, I didn’t bother much because I was certain I won’t  stay at home. I got diploma form to study civil law and was admitted same year. The second year into my law studies while preparing for my finals, I bought JAMB form. I bought JAMB past questions from the year JAMB started to the year before writing the exams. I studied them night and day determined that I will be admitted into the university even before my Diploma result is out. Results for JAMB was released and I scored 228. I had applied to mass communication department at the Ahmadu Bello University. Gaining admission into the university was with much hurdle. It wasn’t as smooth as I have written it, I constantly prayed believed God will make my admission come through. When I was in 100 level my mates from secondary school were in 300 level. At some point I ...

Most times what we see is not a true reflection of what is. We must understand that beautifully adorned body and a cosmetic face hides a flawed skin. When you see people and you admire their person, the kind of clothes they wear, their shoes, house and spoken phonetics be not be carried away, it is a composition of packaging. A woman is about to be thrown out of home because her husband gave her money to keep but she spent the money on clothes and jewelleries. When family meeting was called she confessed that she admired a certain woman and wanted to have the things this woman had so she used her husband’s money in buying those things. My colleague and I were having a conversation so told her “that clothe I wore yesterday, I bought it in Ghana.” My colleague couldn’t remember the cloth, I tried to describe it but she still could not remember. This means most people do not notice what you wear. As long as you are looking good and it has become a habit, ...

This Nigerian hypocrisy is what I do not understand at all. Every religion in Nigeria is against abortion, they talk about it with so much passion, calling anyone they know who has committed an abortion a murderer. Well I am equally prolife and I do not subscribe to abortion except the life of the mother is in danger. If this is not the case in my opinion every child has the right to life, to be born and a freedom to life. You cannot decide to terminate the life of a child because your indecision to protect yourselves against having a child has actually brought the child to the world. When I talk of abortion this does not exempt the man. It is a collective agreement between the man and the woman to enjoy an unprotected sex. After enjoying each other’s body why does the man think the woman should abort the child? If both parties are not ready for children then why don’t you put measures that would avoid bringing a child to the world? The man who is the financier and...

They say time heals all wounds but I say time just makes the pain bearable.  You remember the incidence, you feel the pain and hurt but you can talk about it without crying or cursing. Time makes it bearable because you do not hold on to it but accept what it is by resigning to fate. Time moves so you walk along flowing with the vibe it present. You begin to see the event as one that can liberate others and release them from whatever shackles has held them down. A voice rises in you giving others hope and bringing them to the reality of what was and what is. That event was meant to happen to make you stronger. Do you know there was no storm? You are actually the storm. You moved with such powerful swift that it was hard to come to terms with. You aren't even sure if the storm came but you know you are the storm because you were determined. Turn your wounds to your testimony, let it be your breaking point. The world is waiting for you, you take them by your strength.

So I have been thinking, if a child offends his father in the house, does the father in the bid to correct his child calls his neighbour to report the bad deed of the child and begs the neighbour to help him spank the child? This is what I know, as a mother, when my baby is wrong, I talk to her calmly, lovely, I tell her how angry I am and I hope she doesn’t repeat it again. Of course, my girl constantly wants my approval so she will promise not be do it again. Other times, she does something wrong and I do not wait to talk to her sweetly. I will give her “abara” (spank), yes I am an African in the sense that I understand that this is my girl’s formative years and there are things that must be driven thoroughly into her. My girl is just 2 years 6months but there are times I have had apologised to her for judging her wrongly and I have scolded myself for being tough on her, other times I think I love her so sweetly that am scared she may get spoilt but I am quick to tell mysel...

What is this indiscriminate pissing upandan? I see it everywhere, at first I thought it was a northern thing but it isn’t. It is actually a nationwide somtin. This thing we call private part isn’t private after all. The annoying part is how some men think they are entitled to urinate anywhere especially when there is a gutter. To think that somehow I started getting used to the fact that maybe some men are called to urinate anywhere, I am hit with men bathing out early hours of the morning or when it is dark at night. Lokoja and Lagos people can bear witness to this. On your way to mount party in Lokoja Kogi State, you will find men who are well feed bathing. My first experience with this scene was a scream. I didn’t understand why men will gather to have their bath in public not minding the dangling of their different sizes of sontin. Then Lagos around CMS on your way to the inland, OMW! I almost threw up. I wasn’t expecting what I saw and the uber guy gave a stare. T...

I know there are so many things I do not know, I am aware of the questions I seek answers to but can’t find, yes! I know I will never understand why foolish people continue to remain foolish but what I beg for answers are reasons why a woman continues to hang onto a man who physically and emotionally abuse her. When I was a little girl, I always say to anyone who cares to listen that if I get married today and my supposed husband beats me same day, I will file for divorce same day. I may have been a little girl then but as little as I was I was already informed never to stay in an abusive relationship. There is this neighbour of ours who had fought with almost all the families in the estate. Every night was a night of fight with another family, my family had not had an exchange with this particular family and so a certain night came. There were shouts and screaming from same family, this time around the brawl was with a very quiet family. The entire estate was outside t...

We all need to be guided. People spread stories that are not true just to discredit ones personality, this I find absurd. If you are a just person why listen to one sided store? Aren’t there two sides to a coin? I find it difficult to assimilate why adults would believe and even foster a one sided story without getting concrete information. The good part is, what goes around comes around. If you are unjust to a person simply because you think you are at an advantage be reminded that if your father owns a bakery, he doesn’t own the farm in which the flour is germinated and harvested. You are a criminal when you spread false stories, stop the holier than thou attitude. Sooner than later you will be exposed, I pray mercy finds you.

Women make house chores ‘choreless,’it is past time men began to get domesticated. While growing up my Daddy on weekends would clean the house. He would clean the room to the extent that you can see yourself through the walls. After that, he would start washing our clothes, bath three of his children and cook. My Dad wouldn’t allow anyone help him out. While my Daddy during the weekends is busy with house chores and the care of his kids, my mom is at the shop selling electronics. I grew up with the mind-set that men should be domesticated.  My parents love pounded yam, in a week it can be eaten thrice. While girls should know how to pound, it was the boys who actually do the pounding. My Dad’s opinion about house chores is that everyone should be involved and where strength is exact then men should do that particular job rather than women. The narrative is not so with some households because you find the wife doing all the chores with no help from ...

I boarded same vehicle with a young guy, if I were to judge his age he would be between ages 25 and 28 years. He was talking on phone to whom I presumed to be his girlfriend, his voice was shaking and he had tears in his eyes. The reply from the other end of the phone was not a good one as tears dropped down his face. At this point all I wanted to do was to reach out to him because I have been in his shoes before. On ending his telephone conversation he said let me ask you a question? “What is my offence? Did I commit a crime by loving you? Was I stupid to let you have your way? Was I stingy at any point? Didn’t I support you all through?” I don’t know what the girl’s reply was but the guys response was shocking he said “God be with you.” Mhen! I doff my hurt for this guy. He was hurting yet he resigned to resentment with a prayer. I looked at him and asked “do you what to share?” and he said “what do you know? After ...

This man highly religious and of good moral standard. Well educated and widely travel, a man of one wife even if he religion allows him to marry more than one. He works with the federal government and has risen to an echelon position, he has a clean slate and he is proud of who he is. Knowing that corruption is in every ministry, in order to have his piece of mind, he does not get involved in deals that are dirty. People prefer to call him Alhaji but he insist he is not a visitor in his country but the teachings of being a pilgrimage must be seen in him but not just talked about. The moment he is in the ministry, everyone seems to be of best behaviour and every extortion is suspended until Alhaji travels on an official meeting. Everyone desires to have an attitude of Alhaji but the spirit of corruption dwells in them which make their thought a wishful thinking. Alhaji’s purity can be felt from a distance as workers resume at 8:00am am and close at 4:00 pm, no idle talk ...

They say love is blind but I say love is blinding. We are blinded to the obvious because we are in a euphoric state. During my service year I was privileged to be close to a brilliant Corp member. Ambitious and beautiful, blessed with a good heart and usually would make everyone laugh. She was in love with a certain guy. This guy apparently had her around his sleeve and manipulated her in every way. The said guy is a motor mechanic who barley finished secondary school, was living in a family house and hardly made decisions that concerns them if his family isn’t involved. All these didn’t matter to me because I felt she was old enough in fact older than me and know what she wants. I respected that fact and didn’t pay close attention to her relationship until she started relating her fears to me. This guy wants her to return to Lagos after service, they would get married, continue living in family house and she becomes a trader. He said he wants her to be selling tomatoes and ...

I love Lagos for many reasons but if I have to live in Lagos then I will buy a car fully air conditioned. So I had an urgent meeting to attend and I left the house early. While in the bus, a scene happened. A middle aged lady who is in her first trimester was seated at the bus seat but wanted to change her seat close to the window so she can always spit out or take in fresh air, while she was about to do this change of seat, the bus conductor and the new passenger who was about to come into the bus started insulting her. The bus conductor spoke in Yoruba and he said ‘olo run, koshi kuro, eri bosheri, iwin’ it means ‘dirty smelling lady, take your nonsense away, look at her bushbaby’ mhen…I opened mouth and couldn’t close it. Like what has she done to deserve this kind of insult? I and an elderly woman kept telling her to be patient and ignore the conductor. The conductor wouldn’t stop the insult and the lady told him that she would make sure he is arrested. The new passeng...